Why I Struggle With Breastfeeding

When Mateo was born, I couldn’t wait to breastfeed and feel that bond every mom and doctors talked about. Unfortunately, that didn’t happened at first. My milk supply didn’t arrive in time. The nurses helped me out but nothing was working. I squeezed but it wasn’t enough to feed him. Since I had gestational diabetes, his levels were low so I had to feed him formula in the meantime.

Today I’m sharing why I struggle with Breastfeeding.

I tried to have him latched every time he showed hungry cues but my milk supply was still not enough for him and I was getting frustrated that I couldn’t provide him with food. Not to mentioned I was in a lot of pain since I had a cesarean section and the medications were wearing off.

I was released from the hospital four days later and the following day I had an appointment with a lactation consultant. I explained to her that my milk supply was talking longer to arrive and whatever I had was not enough for him. She showed me how to latch him and recommended to drink oatmeal so by the time it showed up, I will have plenty to feed him and to pump. She told me not to stressed out and by the end of the week I should have milk. She was right.

The next morning, I woke up with engorgement breasts. The moment had come. I had my husband bring me Mateo since it was time for his feeding. I latched him on my left side because that one was leaking milk and I knew by him tasting it he wouldn’t have no problem adjusting. He didn’t like it because right away he latched away. Maybe I didn’t position him right so I tried again. Nope he was not having it. I tried my other side. That seem to work but two minutes later, he began to cry.

What was I doing wrong? My mom helped me positioned him but anything I did just made him cry more. After five minutes of trying I had my husband take him from me and offer him formula. Boom! The crying had stopped and he was eating away. Did I just fail as a mother?

What did I do wrong that my milk supply couldn’t come sooner? Did I already get him used to formula? All the negative words came flying into my brain. I cried. Not only was he not latching but my breast ache so bad. I had to start pumping to ease the pain and also to start offering him that and weaning him off the formula.

As the days and weeks went by it didn’t get easier, but they weren’t difficult either. Every morning I would latch him before I offered him expressed milk. He didn’t latch more than 5 minutes on each breast but to me that was better than nothing. As the days went by we went from 10 minutes to 15 and eventually 30 minutes. It took time and patience but eventually we both got the hang of it. 

I’m not going to say I never wanted to give up because let me tell you, I sure did. I was ready to throw in the towel and say screw this! My mom and husband encouraged me not to give up so quick. Have patience and if he really doesn’t latch or you see it’s not for you then stop otherwise keep trying. I’m glad I listened. Now at twelve weeks, he latches with no complications. Like I said, it wasn’t easy but trust me it was worth it and I hope to continue to breastfeed him until his one or even longer.